Articles
The Problem of Ghosting
What is Ghosting? "Ghosting is a term used to describe the act of suddenly and abruptly cutting off all communication with someone, typically in the context of a personal relationship, without any explanation or warning. It involves ignoring messages, calls, or any form of contact, effectively disappearing from the person's life. Ghosting can leave the person who has been ghosted feeling confused, hurt, and rejected due to the lack of closure or understanding about why the communication suddenly stopped." (ChatGPT)
Avoiding difficult discussions by disappearing is a common tendency among most people. Conflict avoidance is the main reason for ghosting a person. People choose to stop interacting with the person they disagree with because it is easier. Friends and acquaintances separated over whether they supported President Trump. This method was used to punish people who expressed unpopular opinions during the COVID-19 pandemic. People ghosted others over vaccines, masks, and methods of containing the spread of COVID-19. Many churches were riven by disagreement. Friendships ended over these issues, often without discussion or reasons given.
Ghosting has a devasting psychological effect on its target. People feel inadequate when ignored by someone they love and care about. They lose themselves in doubt, sadness, and their self-worth plummets. Ignoring someone is a form of psychological murder. Jesus warned against such dehumanizing behavior, saying, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to the judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool' will be liable to the hell of fire" (Matt. 5:21-22). People of God are commanded to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt. 22:39). When someone avoids conflict or ignores someone because of a disagreement, they say that person is not worthy of their time and effort. They have devalued that person's worth and do not love their neighbor as themselves.
Disciples of Jesus are taught to resolve differences and disagreements with their brothers and sisters. Jesus said, "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matt. 5:23-24). Christians should be motivated by love to reconcile with our brothers and sisters. Jesus clearly teaches that failure to reconcile with our brothers and sisters will result in the matter being finally and forever resolved by the judge of all people, God. The God of all the Universe will incarcerate in an eternal prison those unwilling to reconcile. Thus Jesus warns, "Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny" (Matt. 5:26).
Christians should be gentle and loving people who seek the salvation of every person. All have intrinsic worth because Jesus died for them. Thus we should follow the exhortation of the apostle Paul who said, "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will" (2 Tim. 2:24-26).
Let us love one another as God loves us!
